This is Old Story Which started Somewhat in May 23td Few Years Back……. But I am remembering this now because the same sequence of event is being faced by two of my known one’s and I am laughing on them coz I had on me also and also trying to Conceal them….
A major change in my life…..
I was working with an Organization in the Educational sector, was having a good sound collection of learning from the mistakes of mine and others ( often called Experiences). And had uploaded the resume on the Job portals. One morning sun was at the peak but sitting in the Air condition room does not give the impression unless u have the power cut, and that somehow happened and was feeling the heat....... what other good way can be than to chat with some of opposite gender...... At that point of moment I received a Call from some Consultancy... ( As normally occurs with all professionals they are part of your daily, weekly to do list activity. knowingly or unknowingly u want them to come in your way ) Heard a Sweet, Bold and Confident Voice.....( This was something unique, all 3 things u seldom find in a single character... ) Discussed on some Openings, then after a while things got Over as I was not interested to move out of my base station.
She again called up in the evening when I was sitting at my friends residence, who was recently married. She asked for some references.... I searched the corners of my brain and my neuron came up with few references... Gave the same to her... Phone disconnected, things over again. Next day no moment to notice down... no call from 012.......... next to next day the bell again ranged, my cell showed the same name. I picked the call and said AAllo and the same Sweet ... Bold... Confident voice popped from the box. A smile on my face crept in, imagining as she is sitting in my front of me and talking, although the fact was that she was miles and mile away, but u know if u do so the person talking to u will get the feeling of the same. Anyways once again some references and about my decision... she tried to influence the decision at her best , but I was in no mood to move from my place, so things was again over. The cell disconnected with a slant voice touuuuuuuuuuu.......
U know, our brain is divided in 2 parts one is the Right side and one is the Left side.. one deals with logical aspect and the other deal with imaginary aspect.... ( Right might not be right at times and left might not left anything at times. ) The second one makes u think of lot of things, which u might not be even aware of. Our brain also have a part called Subconscious mind, which do lot of permutation and Combination, and work even when u are sleeping or playing. It works on its own and the action follow automatically. The next to follow was the outcome of my subconscious mind. The though of that lady followed, one evening when I was just passing time in some Multiplex, came the Thought.. Who was she!.. was not her overall personality call for attention. Do I need more discussion... The back portion of my mind decided to GO AHEAD but the problem was "on what topic". Was a Big question. It calls for a big flirt action which I was not intending to do.
Then abruptly I then decided that I am going to opt for the Opening which she was talking of. and this gave me the reason what my subconscious mind was looking for. Now I may be asking to myself n no of Times Why?? Why I allowed her to enter in my life? ( But One thing I strongly believe that every one should go ahead with such situation, must confront such situation because it Makes you more practical, more rational and above all more less emotional towards your approach)
I gave the call and asked for the lady whom I was looking for, but unfortunately she was absent that day and I was redirected to her college Nisha. I asked for Shree. Nisha informed me that shree is not present therefore I can talk to her. I asked regarding the matter and said will call tommorow. The next day I again called up and not to my surprise she picked up the call in her confident voice. We discussed about the position in detail . I was assisted by her friend Nisha for the position and relative comparision from my current one , the whole discussion followed was for more than hour, which was not less what than what I want for. I asked her to forward my Resume for the opening and had the discussion for few more minute. ( As they say na that if you want to talk to someone any streatch of time is lesser for the matter) The very next day I received the call and again relation to the position we discussed for an half hour or so. This things continued for a month. Sometime on updation on the event going on, sometime on the HR new plan , sometime for new refrences and so on. Till those days things were casual from her side to let the candidate not lose the interest and from my side was to retain a known relationship which has once started. Because earlier also the consultant whom I took help for the position which I was holding ,I had a very good relationship with and once I told her "Lady luck" because I was there due to her, and the messages of mine was from straight from the heart she said "this is the best feedback I have got from my client... normally I do not talk to my client after the position is filled...... " .
Returning to the Old story.... Due to certain reason the position was on hold. we Continued talking at a interval of a day and two her intention might be to make my interest going mine was to just have a discussion. things continued for nearly one more month. Suddenly in the third month the position was open again and I needed to travel to that location for interview. I did that in the next month .. till that time things were not very personal but surely a lunch call was on apart from business call. After the first round of interview .. I was through among the race and second round was to follow after a month or so. In the mean time things went on and were cruising ahead. ........ Let me short the story other wise it will march to 100+ pages . I will write a whole one when I will write a novel, sometime in my workings. The song from which I started the story is her favorite.
In nutshell ....... She arrived and stayed or I may say she came. She came just like a tornado in my life. And the matter started seriously in July, after friendship Day or something. A Message ( which I still have after that many Years) “Somebody forget me to wish Friendship day ......” and then the series of discussion of many hours, many means many ….no limiting factor to it ….it goes on and on and on…Either at 07:00 or at 08:30(trip) or at 11:00 or 13:00 or 15:00 or 17:30 or 18:00 (trip) or 19:30 or 22:00(trip) or 23:30 or 02:00 hrs. We always discuss that haw many times we call each other .. I will call in the morning then again when she will start for her office I will give a call and the trip will be discussed on the cell, cell will remain on till the time she enters her office main door . She will call at 11:00 whether I had started for my office or not. She will call at 01:00 before going for lunch. A normal call at 03:00 clock and at 05:30 before leaving from the office asking me to call after 10-15 min when she will get rid off her friends who had started pulling her legs saying " KYO TIME PASS KAR RAHI HO", I dont know what her reply was but probably it was " TIME PASS NAHI KAR RIHI HU". Someone from the group pulles the leg by saying "DHEKNA TERE KO PYAR NA HO JAYE" and so one .... ( One thing when these comment were made mostly I was with her only therefore I can sneak what was said. ) I gave a call to her in the returning trip from office to residence. and finnaly I will call at 10:00 when I was on my way to my residence. Then a message at 11:00 ....( Please make it fast other wise mai lurak jayungi ) My whole thinking and philosophy got changed. Me, a person who often and happily offers psychological counseling to my friends ….. finally surrendered to her. I stopped all of my so called EXTRA WORK for her . With her I always find myself quite a passive person. The things which I left, appeared as if I was forced to leave them . My attachment goes high and high ……
My zeal and zest for life is changed since then. My dreams and vision got stoppage for some time. Every road was leading to her, Every decision was roving around her. First time I realized what a blank mind is! ( Obviously not at that time ). I may have founded myself with my ears shouting to stop it all because the doctor suggested to minimize the use of cell phone. My mind stared freezing all thought, they were pipelined for future process, like We see in Govt. Offices. First time I realize that even the Smoking intensity of mine was dying out against talking intensity. Her Visit for Home or other engagement pushed me to a place where I can engage myself to forget the thought of not being connected. First time I realized, my brain is in not in peace condition. And I was thinking craps. Which can’t help me out in my world .
I found myself more confident with new energy just like some one baptized a new born baby. I felt, like a ray came within my dark life as a new hope. Thought of new Life new World made lot of cassel. I realized the new dimension of spirituality. But …...
:-)
:-)
:-)
:-(
:-)
:-)
:-)
Man proposes god disposes.....
20 Oct.. this all gloomy things and illusions came to end and things started the other way round. My personal feeling related was Complete darkness, hopeless condition, Gloomy Sings, Nostalgic moments, thinking about leaving this world ASAP prevailed. I remember when we were taking in death times of our relationship ( as was started to build ) she was listening to a song and without my saying she put the cell phone in front for me to hear that.... and the song was....
Hum bewafa hargiz na the
The all negative feelings survived with me for many days… I also started having pain which in Sharukh's word in My name is Knah " Seem to have a Heart Congestion but taking any remidial action does not worked it was more than that " which took time to depart not actually depart but subside.
By the grace of the ‘Almighty’, I started living again after few weeks but got to my original state of mind after few Month. ( Saying this seems much easy, than it was actually ). But in this relation I realized more things about psychology about the creature which is created by Almighty often called………. ( Hope u can guess) and was able to see myself in the worst situation of my mind. But apart from all these things I still admire her, still value that relation. Thanks to some of my closer friends, who helped me in this time, one person who call for remembering is a phychologiest she said do remember that "we are having the potential to make the relation as we want them to be... We can turn into any relationship or can go out, as the case may be... for example if you are calling at this time and I forsely ask you why ???? you will not going to call again, and I will do so when i want that action." and her few lines which subscribed me to be more practical was.....
"chhod De Sari Duniya Kisi Ke Liye
yeh Munaasib Nahin Aadmi Ke Liye
pyaar Se Bhi Zaroori Kayi Kam Hain
pyaar Sab Kuchh Nahin Zindagi Ke Liye "
"kBaI iksaI kao maukmmala jahaM nahI Milataa
Today too I am not very far from…… but yes that relation, that intensity, that feeling, that zeal is no more. Things are restricted in a fashion as from ruling a kingdom to ruling in your cage. But thanks to almighty that helped me through my days.. That chapter had left with many new initiatives like reading Novel, Restricting down my white Dandi, The strength of Trust and ……….. other things.
Take Care and Do seriously Take Care.
A Last Letter............
I will not get time to discuss these as I told was true and would definitely not have got the time, but since u have asked forcefully ( Which is the best part of yours) Let me brief it out...
I had said Thanks from the bottom of the heart for ......... it was for all these.....
I had not been cared by anyone apart from my family this much. U really made me learn what caring means.
I had never got involved with anyone and the feeling for the same was never there. U made me learn and feel the same.
I had felt the imp of sharing the information or better say a sense a having a ear to listen u.
I experience how and what u can talk for n no of hours per day, which otherwise was impossible to know coz i had found myself saying to many of my friends "Kya yaar ghanto chipke rakto ho phone se"
I had experienced the Strength of Imagination, what it can do for U.
I had seen the growth in the energy level when u know somebody cares you.
I had experienced why people say " I will remember this for lifetime"
And the latest one What and How it feels if u suddenly stop responding or talking. I am going to resolve few issue of disconnection.
and these all act are not childest.
A major change in my life…..
Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye , Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva,Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Ho chaandni jab tak raat deta hai har koi saath,
Tum magar andheron mein na chhodna mera haath
Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye,Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Wafadaari ki vo rasmein nibhayenge hum tum kasmein,
Ek vi sans zindagi ki jab tak ho apne bas mein
Dil ko mere hua yakeen hum pehle bhi mile kahin,Silsila ye sadiyon ka koi aaj ki baat nahin
Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye,Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva,Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz
I was working with an Organization in the Educational sector, was having a good sound collection of learning from the mistakes of mine and others ( often called Experiences). And had uploaded the resume on the Job portals. One morning sun was at the peak but sitting in the Air condition room does not give the impression unless u have the power cut, and that somehow happened and was feeling the heat....... what other good way can be than to chat with some of opposite gender...... At that point of moment I received a Call from some Consultancy... ( As normally occurs with all professionals they are part of your daily, weekly to do list activity. knowingly or unknowingly u want them to come in your way ) Heard a Sweet, Bold and Confident Voice.....( This was something unique, all 3 things u seldom find in a single character... ) Discussed on some Openings, then after a while things got Over as I was not interested to move out of my base station.
She again called up in the evening when I was sitting at my friends residence, who was recently married. She asked for some references.... I searched the corners of my brain and my neuron came up with few references... Gave the same to her... Phone disconnected, things over again. Next day no moment to notice down... no call from 012.......... next to next day the bell again ranged, my cell showed the same name. I picked the call and said AAllo and the same Sweet ... Bold... Confident voice popped from the box. A smile on my face crept in, imagining as she is sitting in my front of me and talking, although the fact was that she was miles and mile away, but u know if u do so the person talking to u will get the feeling of the same. Anyways once again some references and about my decision... she tried to influence the decision at her best , but I was in no mood to move from my place, so things was again over. The cell disconnected with a slant voice touuuuuuuuuuu.......
U know, our brain is divided in 2 parts one is the Right side and one is the Left side.. one deals with logical aspect and the other deal with imaginary aspect.... ( Right might not be right at times and left might not left anything at times. ) The second one makes u think of lot of things, which u might not be even aware of. Our brain also have a part called Subconscious mind, which do lot of permutation and Combination, and work even when u are sleeping or playing. It works on its own and the action follow automatically. The next to follow was the outcome of my subconscious mind. The though of that lady followed, one evening when I was just passing time in some Multiplex, came the Thought.. Who was she!.. was not her overall personality call for attention. Do I need more discussion... The back portion of my mind decided to GO AHEAD but the problem was "on what topic". Was a Big question. It calls for a big flirt action which I was not intending to do.
Then abruptly I then decided that I am going to opt for the Opening which she was talking of. and this gave me the reason what my subconscious mind was looking for. Now I may be asking to myself n no of Times Why?? Why I allowed her to enter in my life? ( But One thing I strongly believe that every one should go ahead with such situation, must confront such situation because it Makes you more practical, more rational and above all more less emotional towards your approach)
I gave the call and asked for the lady whom I was looking for, but unfortunately she was absent that day and I was redirected to her college Nisha. I asked for Shree. Nisha informed me that shree is not present therefore I can talk to her. I asked regarding the matter and said will call tommorow. The next day I again called up and not to my surprise she picked up the call in her confident voice. We discussed about the position in detail . I was assisted by her friend Nisha for the position and relative comparision from my current one , the whole discussion followed was for more than hour, which was not less what than what I want for. I asked her to forward my Resume for the opening and had the discussion for few more minute. ( As they say na that if you want to talk to someone any streatch of time is lesser for the matter) The very next day I received the call and again relation to the position we discussed for an half hour or so. This things continued for a month. Sometime on updation on the event going on, sometime on the HR new plan , sometime for new refrences and so on. Till those days things were casual from her side to let the candidate not lose the interest and from my side was to retain a known relationship which has once started. Because earlier also the consultant whom I took help for the position which I was holding ,I had a very good relationship with and once I told her "Lady luck" because I was there due to her, and the messages of mine was from straight from the heart she said "this is the best feedback I have got from my client... normally I do not talk to my client after the position is filled...... " .
Returning to the Old story.... Due to certain reason the position was on hold. we Continued talking at a interval of a day and two her intention might be to make my interest going mine was to just have a discussion. things continued for nearly one more month. Suddenly in the third month the position was open again and I needed to travel to that location for interview. I did that in the next month .. till that time things were not very personal but surely a lunch call was on apart from business call. After the first round of interview .. I was through among the race and second round was to follow after a month or so. In the mean time things went on and were cruising ahead. ........ Let me short the story other wise it will march to 100+ pages . I will write a whole one when I will write a novel, sometime in my workings. The song from which I started the story is her favorite.
In nutshell ....... She arrived and stayed or I may say she came. She came just like a tornado in my life. And the matter started seriously in July, after friendship Day or something. A Message ( which I still have after that many Years) “Somebody forget me to wish Friendship day ......” and then the series of discussion of many hours, many means many ….no limiting factor to it ….it goes on and on and on…Either at 07:00 or at 08:30(trip) or at 11:00 or 13:00 or 15:00 or 17:30 or 18:00 (trip) or 19:30 or 22:00(trip) or 23:30 or 02:00 hrs. We always discuss that haw many times we call each other .. I will call in the morning then again when she will start for her office I will give a call and the trip will be discussed on the cell, cell will remain on till the time she enters her office main door . She will call at 11:00 whether I had started for my office or not. She will call at 01:00 before going for lunch. A normal call at 03:00 clock and at 05:30 before leaving from the office asking me to call after 10-15 min when she will get rid off her friends who had started pulling her legs saying " KYO TIME PASS KAR RAHI HO", I dont know what her reply was but probably it was " TIME PASS NAHI KAR RIHI HU". Someone from the group pulles the leg by saying "DHEKNA TERE KO PYAR NA HO JAYE" and so one .... ( One thing when these comment were made mostly I was with her only therefore I can sneak what was said. ) I gave a call to her in the returning trip from office to residence. and finnaly I will call at 10:00 when I was on my way to my residence. Then a message at 11:00 ....( Please make it fast other wise mai lurak jayungi ) My whole thinking and philosophy got changed. Me, a person who often and happily offers psychological counseling to my friends ….. finally surrendered to her. I stopped all of my so called EXTRA WORK for her . With her I always find myself quite a passive person. The things which I left, appeared as if I was forced to leave them . My attachment goes high and high ……
My zeal and zest for life is changed since then. My dreams and vision got stoppage for some time. Every road was leading to her, Every decision was roving around her. First time I realized what a blank mind is! ( Obviously not at that time ). I may have founded myself with my ears shouting to stop it all because the doctor suggested to minimize the use of cell phone. My mind stared freezing all thought, they were pipelined for future process, like We see in Govt. Offices. First time I realize that even the Smoking intensity of mine was dying out against talking intensity. Her Visit for Home or other engagement pushed me to a place where I can engage myself to forget the thought of not being connected. First time I realized, my brain is in not in peace condition. And I was thinking craps. Which can’t help me out in my world .
I found myself more confident with new energy just like some one baptized a new born baby. I felt, like a ray came within my dark life as a new hope. Thought of new Life new World made lot of cassel. I realized the new dimension of spirituality. But …...
:-)
:-)
:-)
:-(
:-)
:-)
:-)
Man proposes god disposes.....
20 Oct.. this all gloomy things and illusions came to end and things started the other way round. My personal feeling related was Complete darkness, hopeless condition, Gloomy Sings, Nostalgic moments, thinking about leaving this world ASAP prevailed. I remember when we were taking in death times of our relationship ( as was started to build ) she was listening to a song and without my saying she put the cell phone in front for me to hear that.... and the song was....
Hum bewafa hargiz na the
Par hum wafa kar naa sake
Humko mili uski sazaa
Hum jo khata kar naa sake
Hum bewafa hargiz na the
Par hum wafa kar naa sake
The all negative feelings survived with me for many days… I also started having pain which in Sharukh's word in My name is Knah " Seem to have a Heart Congestion but taking any remidial action does not worked it was more than that " which took time to depart not actually depart but subside.
By the grace of the ‘Almighty’, I started living again after few weeks but got to my original state of mind after few Month. ( Saying this seems much easy, than it was actually ). But in this relation I realized more things about psychology about the creature which is created by Almighty often called………. ( Hope u can guess) and was able to see myself in the worst situation of my mind. But apart from all these things I still admire her, still value that relation. Thanks to some of my closer friends, who helped me in this time, one person who call for remembering is a phychologiest she said do remember that "we are having the potential to make the relation as we want them to be... We can turn into any relationship or can go out, as the case may be... for example if you are calling at this time and I forsely ask you why ???? you will not going to call again, and I will do so when i want that action." and her few lines which subscribed me to be more practical was.....
"chhod De Sari Duniya Kisi Ke Liye
yeh Munaasib Nahin Aadmi Ke Liye
pyaar Se Bhi Zaroori Kayi Kam Hain
pyaar Sab Kuchh Nahin Zindagi Ke Liye "
"kBaI iksaI kao maukmmala jahaM nahI Milataa
khI jamain taao khI Aasamaan nahi milataa....
Ye bedil walo ki basti hai mere Yaar,
Yaha koi dil se nahi Milta to Kisi se dil nahi Milta "
Today too I am not very far from…… but yes that relation, that intensity, that feeling, that zeal is no more. Things are restricted in a fashion as from ruling a kingdom to ruling in your cage. But thanks to almighty that helped me through my days.. That chapter had left with many new initiatives like reading Novel, Restricting down my white Dandi, The strength of Trust and ……….. other things.
Take Care and Do seriously Take Care.
A Last Letter............
I will not get time to discuss these as I told was true and would definitely not have got the time, but since u have asked forcefully ( Which is the best part of yours) Let me brief it out...
I had said Thanks from the bottom of the heart for ......... it was for all these.....
I had not been cared by anyone apart from my family this much. U really made me learn what caring means.
I had never got involved with anyone and the feeling for the same was never there. U made me learn and feel the same.
I had felt the imp of sharing the information or better say a sense a having a ear to listen u.
I experience how and what u can talk for n no of hours per day, which otherwise was impossible to know coz i had found myself saying to many of my friends "Kya yaar ghanto chipke rakto ho phone se"
I had experienced the Strength of Imagination, what it can do for U.
I had seen the growth in the energy level when u know somebody cares you.
I had experienced why people say " I will remember this for lifetime"
And the latest one What and How it feels if u suddenly stop responding or talking. I am going to resolve few issue of disconnection.
and these all act are not childest.
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